Fertility Clinic Offers Free Sperm
An Irvine, California based fertility clinic has decided to take on the struggling US economy in its own innovative way. Biotech newcomer, Vitrolab has announced that it plans to offer "free" sperm to new clients. Where they'll get it and how they plan to distribute the sperm is still unclear. One source suggests that the US Postal Service could play a part. The LA Dodgers are also potential participants.
According to Vitrolab CEO and founder, Jack Slemmens, "This is a tough economy. People are juggling bills trying to decide what to spend their money on. If it comes down to choosing between a Starbucks Double Shot Frappuccino and sperm, it's going to be the coffee." For couples hoping to bear children via artificial insemination, sperm can cost thousands of dollars. Also, sperm seekers shouldn't rely on their insurance companies to pony up the funds for their next child. Many carriers require proof of a pre-existing illness, and the question of whether infertility is a bona fide preexisting condition in the eyes of insurance companies has yet to be resolved. Not to worry, says UCLA Psychologist, Barry Katz "Often times, simply the desire to buy sperm indicates a pre-existing psychological illness."
At an average of $3 per mixed coffee drink at Starbucks, the typical American woman might expect to pay as much as $780 per year if they have one a day, five days a week. "Sperm just falls way down on the list of things to spend money on. We want to educate the average person that sperm is actually quite affordable," says Slemmens. "Practically anyone can be a sperm owner."
"We feel that people should have the option of learning new behaviors and prioritizing their spending. When the public becomes as dependent on sperm as they are on coffee, we could not only help young, childless families, we could give the economy a good swift kick in the pants," Slemmens told reporters.
Some community leaders and medical experts, however, express concern over the quality of the free sperm offered by Vitrolab. According to Dr. Mike Litter of San Clemente, California, "Freshness is key. Sperm can go stale if it's not properly stored. That's why it's always better if it's distributed sooner rather than later. It's best fresh. Hot off the griddle. Frozen is optimal if you can't get your hands on a fresh supply, but if it's stored in open containers, for instance... that's trouble."
Some wonder about the logic of the concept of "free sperm," since sperm by its very nature is already free.
According to Slemmens, the "free sperm" offer will apply to new customers only. Returning customers will be offered discounts, rebates, frequent flyer miles and other incentives. Applications can be taken online at www.vitrolab.com, or by calling 1-900-910-8867.
According to Vitrolab CEO and founder, Jack Slemmens, "This is a tough economy. People are juggling bills trying to decide what to spend their money on. If it comes down to choosing between a Starbucks Double Shot Frappuccino and sperm, it's going to be the coffee." For couples hoping to bear children via artificial insemination, sperm can cost thousands of dollars. Also, sperm seekers shouldn't rely on their insurance companies to pony up the funds for their next child. Many carriers require proof of a pre-existing illness, and the question of whether infertility is a bona fide preexisting condition in the eyes of insurance companies has yet to be resolved. Not to worry, says UCLA Psychologist, Barry Katz "Often times, simply the desire to buy sperm indicates a pre-existing psychological illness."
At an average of $3 per mixed coffee drink at Starbucks, the typical American woman might expect to pay as much as $780 per year if they have one a day, five days a week. "Sperm just falls way down on the list of things to spend money on. We want to educate the average person that sperm is actually quite affordable," says Slemmens. "Practically anyone can be a sperm owner."
"We feel that people should have the option of learning new behaviors and prioritizing their spending. When the public becomes as dependent on sperm as they are on coffee, we could not only help young, childless families, we could give the economy a good swift kick in the pants," Slemmens told reporters.
Some community leaders and medical experts, however, express concern over the quality of the free sperm offered by Vitrolab. According to Dr. Mike Litter of San Clemente, California, "Freshness is key. Sperm can go stale if it's not properly stored. That's why it's always better if it's distributed sooner rather than later. It's best fresh. Hot off the griddle. Frozen is optimal if you can't get your hands on a fresh supply, but if it's stored in open containers, for instance... that's trouble."
Some wonder about the logic of the concept of "free sperm," since sperm by its very nature is already free.
According to Slemmens, the "free sperm" offer will apply to new customers only. Returning customers will be offered discounts, rebates, frequent flyer miles and other incentives. Applications can be taken online at www.vitrolab.com, or by calling 1-900-910-8867.